To all bereaved mothers who’ve commented on my blog…..

I have not written here in such a long time.  Life has kept me very busy.  But, that really isn’t an excuse to stop writing.  I decided to visit my blog today and noticed that I have several comments from mother’s who’ve lost a child to cancer.  I want to apologize to each one of you for not responding to you.  I am just like you and I have a missing piece in my heart and soul.  I know what it is like to see kids around Kayla’s age (now 24) who are married, have children, going to or finished college and have begun their careers and wonder what she would have been.  I was recently talking to a mother who lost her child a few years ago.  And, we both agreed that the “finality” is one of the hardest things to accept.  We will never know what our children would have been, who they would have married, or how many children they would have.  I’ve, also, wondered, how would she be wearing her hair now.  What kind of music would she like?  And, just what would she be like at the age of 24?  I had Kayla when I was 24, which is hard to think about.  I was not finished when she died.  I still had so much more to say and do with her…..To all of the bereaved mothers who’ve commented on my blog and I have not responded, again, I apologize for not being there for you.  I will be getting back with each one of you, hopefully, this week.  If you would like to part of the online support group for mothers who’ve lost a child to cancer, please let me know and I can send you the information.  Each one of you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers………..Amber


About MomMinus1

Welcome to my blog, momminus1 (mom minus one). I am a mother of three beautiful girls, Kayla 17, Allison 13 and Ashley 5. One of my daughters recently became an angel; Kayla passed away on September 22, 2010 due to complications from AML leukemia. She was diagnosed on July 3, 2010. She endured harsh chemotherapy treatments, hair loss, rare and painful skin disorders, horrible stomach infections, weakness, loss of appetite, depression, anxiety and fear. From the time she was diagnosed until the day she died it was just 81 days..... A short, but, horrific battle with cancer. I am always asked, "How are you doing? What can I do for you? How are your two girls doing?" At times, these are tough questions to answer. And, I express myself best when I write. Writing is so helpful and therapeutic for me. Maybe I can answer these questions for those that are concerned about us. Maybe I can help another mom that might wake up tomorrow and find out that their child is diagnosed with cancer. Maybe there is a mom somewhere, like me, that just lost a child to cancer and is searching the web for answers. She might be thinking, "Is there anyone out there that understands what I'm going through?" I understand. I am grieving. I am in pain. I have a big piece of my heart that is now gone.....I would love your feedback about my blog, too. Thanks for reading!
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