I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many mother’s like myself who have lost a child to cancer. I haven’t met any of them face-to-face; each one found my blog or I found a blog they were writing similar to mine. Thankfully, with the internet, I’ve been able to share my thoughts and feelings with these incredible mom’s and the world about my journey through life after losing a child to cancer. They inspire and encourage me to keep writing.
I remember right after Kayla died, I looked around so lost and confused and thought, “What do I do now?” My life had changed so drastically with caring for a sick child with cancer, I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do next after she was gone. “I have to leave the hospital now? How do I let go? What am I going to do without my daughter? How am I going to do this? How do I deal with this unfamiliar pain and grief?” These were other thoughts I had when Kayla died. But, the one thing I wish I had at that time was someone to talk to that could completely understand my pain…..someone that had been there……another mom that, also, lost her child to cancer. However, there was absolutely no one. Of course, there were grief support groups. But, they usually supported a parent who had lost a child for any reason. I needed someone that understood what it was like to watch her child suffer and stand by helplessly because there was nothing they could do but pray. I tried one-on-one counseling, which was great. But, still, I was missing that one person that could tell me, “I know your pain. I relive it everyday just like you. I miss my child tremendously and I always will. You will have some good days in the future even though you cannot imagine it right now. You will find strength through your surviving children. In time, you will see your daughter in ways that you never thought you could. You will begin to look forward to the day you can see her again instead of dwelling over the day you lost her. I’m here if you ever need to talk, cry or just share stories about our children.”
I am not a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. But, I do know how to listen to mother’s that have experienced the same type of trauma that I have. This made me wonder if other mom’s feel the same way. What about starting an online support group? I really don’t know anything about creating such a group, but, I am willing to learn. I created a poll within this blog. If you are interested, please participate in the poll and let me know:)