Support Group Interest Poll

Kayla, age 3, having a tea party.

Kayla, age 3, having a tea party.

I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many mother’s like myself who have lost a child to cancer.  I haven’t met any of them face-to-face; each one found my blog or I found a blog they were writing similar to mine.  Thankfully, with the internet, I’ve been able to share my thoughts and feelings with these incredible mom’s and the world about my journey through life after losing a child to cancer.  They inspire and encourage me to keep writing.

I remember right after Kayla died, I looked around so lost and confused and thought, “What do I do now?”  My life had changed so drastically with caring for a sick child with cancer, I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do next after she was gone.  “I have to leave the hospital now?  How do I let go?  What am I going to do without my daughter?  How am I going to do this?  How do I deal with this unfamiliar pain and grief?”  These were other thoughts I had when Kayla died.  But, the one thing I wish I had at that time was someone to talk to that could completely understand my pain…..someone that had been there……another mom that, also, lost her child to cancer.  However, there was absolutely no one.  Of course, there were grief support groups.  But, they usually supported a parent who had lost a child for any reason.  I needed someone that understood what it was like to watch her child suffer and stand by helplessly because there was nothing they could do but pray.  I tried one-on-one counseling, which was great.  But, still, I was missing that one person that could tell me, “I know your pain.  I relive it everyday just like you.  I miss my child tremendously and I always will.  You will have some good days in the future even though you cannot imagine it right now.  You will find strength through your surviving children.  In time, you will see your daughter in ways that you never thought you could.  You will begin to look forward to the day you can see her again instead of dwelling over the day you lost her.  I’m here if you ever need to talk, cry or just share stories about our children.”

I am not a counselor, therapist, or psychologist.  But, I do know how to listen to mother’s that have experienced the same type of trauma that I have.  This made me wonder if other mom’s feel the same way.  What about starting an online support group?  I really don’t know anything about creating such a group, but, I am willing to learn.  I created a poll within this blog.  If you are interested, please participate in the poll and let me know:)

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About MomMinus1

Welcome to my blog, momminus1 (mom minus one). I am a mother of three beautiful girls, Kayla 17, Allison 13 and Ashley 5. One of my daughters recently became an angel; Kayla passed away on September 22, 2010 due to complications from AML leukemia. She was diagnosed on July 3, 2010. She endured harsh chemotherapy treatments, hair loss, rare and painful skin disorders, horrible stomach infections, weakness, loss of appetite, depression, anxiety and fear. From the time she was diagnosed until the day she died it was just 81 days..... A short, but, horrific battle with cancer. I am always asked, "How are you doing? What can I do for you? How are your two girls doing?" At times, these are tough questions to answer. And, I express myself best when I write. Writing is so helpful and therapeutic for me. Maybe I can answer these questions for those that are concerned about us. Maybe I can help another mom that might wake up tomorrow and find out that their child is diagnosed with cancer. Maybe there is a mom somewhere, like me, that just lost a child to cancer and is searching the web for answers. She might be thinking, "Is there anyone out there that understands what I'm going through?" I understand. I am grieving. I am in pain. I have a big piece of my heart that is now gone.....I would love your feedback about my blog, too. Thanks for reading!
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10 Responses to Support Group Interest Poll

  1. Lisa Ruprecht says:

    Everything you wrote is so so true. I was just saying to my husband the other day that what I crave the most is to talk to parents who understand, and it does not matter where we live ( I am in Australia ) or how old our child was, our lives have changed and they will never be the same no matter how much we want it to be. No matter how much I ask God to bring him back, it won’t ever happen and living with that is so hard. Sometimes you just want someone to say “Hey, this is normal, you aren’t going mad, we understand

    • MomMinus1 says:

      You are absolutely right, Lisa. A mom may have lost their child to cancer 30 years ago and she can still relate to our pain. I have received more support from mother’s like yourself instead of counseling. We will need to count on each other now and in the future. Thank you for writing. You will continue to be in my prayers….What a small world about you and Tracey both losing a child to cancer and living in Australia. I hope the two of you will have the opportunity to meet someday. I appreciate you and all of the other mom’s like us 🙂

  2. chiquis says:

    I ‘m a mother that lost a beautiful 13 year old daughter to ALL on mother’s day of 2012… She was sick for almost a year and since the day of the diagnosis until today, I feel as if I’m on this terrible nightmare and I just can not seem to be able to wake up! I live in Monterrey, Mexico and feel so alone because there’s no support group here or anywhere near that gets together parents like us… I ‘ m so happy I found your blog… I’ve been reading all your posts and feel as if you write exactly how i feel…

  3. MomMinus1 says:

    Reblogged this on Mom Minus 1 and commented:

    I moved the poll from the bottom of this post to the top to make it easier to find. Please feel free to participate and let me know what you think. Thank you 🙂

  4. Kathi Patrick says:

    Amber you know I am in…….At times there seems to be few of us and at other times there are many. We often feel that are numbers are few only to find out like reading your blog that are numbers are increasing daily. I think this is a great idea. I think we can all lean on each other and help each other learn to cope simply because we understand each other. I love you very much and am so sorry we have had to emark on this journey. Your a great mom.

    • MomMinus1 says:

      Hi Kathi!! It’s so good to hear from you. I think about you often and all that our girl’s endured in 2010. Thank you so much for your interest in a support group. I’ll keep you posted on what I find out about creating one online. Love you a bunch and take care 🙂

  5. SusanB says:

    I believe that we are all connected – you know, the six degrees of separation – and not just by way of introduction, also, by way of life changing events, be it heart ache or joy. Someone somewhere is feeling the same way, and helping one another is what God intended us to do.

  6. Kelly says:

    I too lost my 10 year old daughter Claire to ALL in May 2011. I was always searching the internet to find someone in the exact situation. I guess I wanted to find out if this happens to others and that we weren’t alone. She was on treatment for 8 months and she did very well through it but passed suddenly and unexpectedly while in the hospital for 2 weeks with a fever. It is still hard to believe today that she is gone. She was such a fun and bubbly kid whose presence is very much missed. I would love to talk to others and feel free to email me.

    • MomMinus1 says:

      Hi Kelly! Thank you so much for your comments. I know the pain you are in right now. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Claire. I know that you miss her so very much and would give anything to have her back. If I can help in any way, please feel free to contact me. I’m still researching how to create an online support group. Once I get it started, I will let you know. Please remember that you are not alone.

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