As I Sit in Heaven

I’ve shared some blog posts previously that are letters I’ve written to Kayla in Heaven.  And, I’ve, also, created and written a few letters from her to me that I just wish would really show up in my mail box one day.  And, until yesterday, I had never read a poem that has touched my heart like this one.  One of my relatives sent it to me.  It felt like Kayla sent this poem to her and said, “Caroline, please send this to my mom.”  I hope every mother out there that is hurting right now because they have lost a child to cancer will read it, too.  I hope they will find some comfort in these words just like I have.  Thank you for sending it, Caroline 🙂

I needed this today.  Thanks Misty.


About MomMinus1

Welcome to my blog, momminus1 (mom minus one). I am a mother of three beautiful girls, Kayla 17, Allison 13 and Ashley 5. One of my daughters recently became an angel; Kayla passed away on September 22, 2010 due to complications from AML leukemia. She was diagnosed on July 3, 2010. She endured harsh chemotherapy treatments, hair loss, rare and painful skin disorders, horrible stomach infections, weakness, loss of appetite, depression, anxiety and fear. From the time she was diagnosed until the day she died it was just 81 days..... A short, but, horrific battle with cancer. I am always asked, "How are you doing? What can I do for you? How are your two girls doing?" At times, these are tough questions to answer. And, I express myself best when I write. Writing is so helpful and therapeutic for me. Maybe I can answer these questions for those that are concerned about us. Maybe I can help another mom that might wake up tomorrow and find out that their child is diagnosed with cancer. Maybe there is a mom somewhere, like me, that just lost a child to cancer and is searching the web for answers. She might be thinking, "Is there anyone out there that understands what I'm going through?" I understand. I am grieving. I am in pain. I have a big piece of my heart that is now gone.....I would love your feedback about my blog, too. Thanks for reading!
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11 Responses to As I Sit in Heaven

  1. Irma says:

    This made me cry………………today was a hard day for me.
    I loved this poem, almost like you sent it when i needed it.
    Thank you,
    Sydney’s Mom

    • MomMinus1 says:

      Irma……..It makes me cry every time I read it…… are in my prayers……

      • Irma says:

        Kayla’s Mom,
        I don’t know about you, but do you feel Kayla close to you? I feel my precious Sydney so close to my heart, as if she is right here with me.
        Thanks for your blog.
        Sydney’s Mom

      • MomMinus1 says:

        Hi Irma……It seems like I can feel Kayla with me at anytime of the day. And, sometimes it’s as if she closer to me than other times. But, she’s always in my heard, mind, soul….I am sure your sweet Syndney is with you always, as well. Thank you so much for your kind words.

  2. Tracey Warren says:

    Oh my gosh. My dearest friend sent me the exact same poem last night. We lost our little boy Thomas aged 6 September last year to a rare childhood cancer, rhabomyosarcoma. I live in Australia and have followed your blog for almost a year. Maybe your beautiful Kayla knows our gorgeous Thomas and they got together to make sure we read that poem.
    Please feel free to contact me if you would like. My thoughts are with you, one mother who shares a great loss to another.
    Warm regards, Tracey xoxoxo

    • MomMinus1 says:

      Tracey…….How amazing for you to receive the same poem within 24 hours!!! I am sure your Thomas meant for you to read it. I believe Kayla sent it to me, as well. I know the pain you are in right now not having your precious boy with you. Please know that I am here anytime if I can help in some way. Thank you for reading, too.

    • Lisa Ruprecht says:

      Hi Tracey, I too have just lost my son to rhabdomyosarcoma, he was 20. I lost him on 15th November, 2012 and I am in Australia too. Thanks Lisa Ruprecht

      • Tracey Warren says:

        Hi Lisa, I feel your pain. Rhabdo is probably one of the most horrible childhood cancers. To watch your child suffer through it is just horrific. Please feel free to contact me at if you like.
        My thoughts are with you
        Warm regards, Tracey xx

  3. Melissa says:

    This poem is just what I needed to read. We lost our youngest to AML Leukwmia only 5 months ago and the age of 2. Thank you.

    • MomMinus1 says:

      Melissa……I am so glad to know that the poem spoke to you, as well. I truly believe that our children that are not physically with us anymore are always going to be in our hearts. The emotional bond can never be taken away. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. Toni says:

    This is such a beautiful poem. So very hard for me to read. I have read it many times. I lost my oldest child to brain cancer Nov, 9th 2013. His name is Sky, and was 36. A beautiful soul and loved to laugh and make jokes. His first operation the Dr told his dad and I there was little hope for making it through the procedure. If he did, he would never talk or walk again. A baseball sized tumor was removed from the right frontal. 45 minutes after he woke up asking for something to eat. A miracle for sure. We were told it would come back because the type had roots. 5 years later another surgery. The removal of most of the frontal brain was removed. Again the Dr said there would be no way he would survive. And absolutely no way he would walk or talk again, as they had removed the speech center. Again he woke asking to eat, that boy loved to eat. 2 year go by and the cancer was aggressively back and no more surgery’s, not enough left. The only thing that keeps me sane is the knowing that God has a plan. He needed Sky to do something in Heaven, a job only he could do. As I close, please educate yourselves on GMO’s. Love and light.

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