As I continue through this grief process, I am always faced with new challenges or situations that I never expected. We appreciate and cherish the outpouring of prayers, support and love from our friends and family. I know you are always there if we need anything. But, there have been a few times where I’m in an uncomfortable situation….or, maybe it’s just uncomfortable for the other person…..I passed someone that I knew in a store the other day. We made eye contact and immediately this person dropped their head and avoided me. I had not seen this person since Kayla passed away. And, we really don’t know each other that well, anyway. But, I think we know each other well enough to say, “Hello.” I guess I could have been the one to initiate a greeting or conversation. But, this person didn’t even give me a chance to say anything. I wanted to say, “Hey! How are you? And, by the way, please don’t be afraid to talk to me because my daughter passed away.” Maybe this person just didn’t know what to say. I tried putting myself in their shoes. What would I have said? You don’t want to ask, “How are you?” because we all know how you are doing, as far as grieving.
This also reminds me of how Kayla felt when she would get out of her hospital room. She was always required to wear a surgical mask whenever away from her room. She had no hair and had to push an IV pole around with her everywhere she went. People would pass her in the hallway and look at her and then turn away or look at her and smile. She appreciated the smiles, but, did not like to be avoided. It made her feel like she was contagious and it really hurt her feelings. I told her that she needed to wear a shirt that said, “I have cancer and you can stop staring at me now.”
But, I will say that there are two things that have helped me during this grief process; writing and laughter. I am really enjoying this blog and getting my emotions out through written or typed words. However, if there is something that can make me laugh, I will take it in a heartbeat. So, if you ever see me out somewhere and you don’t know what to say, you could simply tell me a joke or anything funny. And, I love to people watch. You could say, “Hey. Did you see that funny lookin’ person over there?” I know that’s probably not nice to do. But, Kayla and I would do it all the time;it made us both laugh. A simple, “Hello” is really okay and appreciated, too. And, I promise, I won’t bite 🙂