My family and friends have been so good to us since Kayla passed away. They were great while she was in the hospital and enduring her treatment, as well. I don’t know how I would make it without them. When I want to hide away in my house and don’t want to face the world, they will pull me out of it. I have always had a problem with isolating myself when I’m sad. So, lately, it has been very easy for me to sit at home and not walk out the front door unless I absolutely have to do it. I know it’s not good for me. And, I am getting much better about getting out now. I think I’m worried about these emotional triggers that I might have to face in public. I don’t want anyone to see me cry….I don’t even like for my kids to see me cry. Sometimes, I just have to cry…wherever I am……I’m thankful for the shoulders of my family and friends to cry on.
I went Christmas shopping with my friend, Diana, yesterday at the Mall of Georgia. I told her that if the Christmas music got to me, I would probably have to leave. But, I survived it and I didn’t even notice the Christmas music playing while we shopped. I had a great time with her. She did a wonderful job of keeping my mind off of being sad. When we were finished shopping, I was starving and ready for lunch. We left the mall and tried to get a table at the Olive Garden; everyone else in Gwinnett County had the same idea and we decided to leave. We got in the car and started heading back near home as my stomach growled over and over…..when I get hungry, I mean, I get really HUNGRY! All of a sudden, we were stopped at a red light due to a police officer stopping traffic for a……funeral procession…….I dropped my head and I sighed….My sweet and thoughtful friend, Diana, looked over at me and asked, “Oh…Are you going to be okay?” I looked at her and I said, “I’m not upset about the funeral….I’m just starving and this is holding us up to get somewhere to eat!” We both laughed so hard. And, I needed a good laugh………I just know that, unfortunatley, death happens everyday. I felt so sad for the family of that person that passed away…..but, I was hungry……LOL….sometimes you just have to laugh 🙂
Thank you for being a friend to ALL of my family and friends….I love you all…..
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I had fun shopping with you too. And I know when we were laughing as the funeral procession went by that Kayla was rolling her eyes at us. We will always miss Kayla, but it is nice to have a moment or 2 of “normal” thrown in every once in a while.
So glad you’re getting out! Lunch tomorrow??
good to see you getting out with your friends and laughing!! keep up the good work!!!
i love kayla and miss her soooo much!!! wen i saw her site it was with beautiful flowers. i have been up there lately i still cant handle it alone. i miss her dearly! but i know shes happy and seein us everyday! i love you kayla! my email is caned17@hotmail.com
I’m so relieved i found your blog… I lost my second child to leukemia 8 months ago… I feel conforted that i’m not alone!
I wish I could say something to help ease your pain from losing your precious child to leukemia. Please know that you are absolutely not alone. There are many mom’s just like us on this blog that have also suffered the loss of a child to cancer. All of us hurt and will continue to grieve. If you ever need anyone to talk to, please feel free to contact me. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.